My fiance who came from Ethiopia to U.S is pregnant from her ex-boyfriend

Admas News
Please comment: “This the most bizarre thing i experienced.
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I went to Ethiopia 17 months ago for a 30 day vacation. I met this girl during my stay and i really liked her. I extended my stay for 2 more months. I proposed to her before my return and she accepted.  Then we got married in small ceremony. Then I came back to US and start the process to bring her. After year and half everything was finished and she got the visa. Few weeks ago, She came to the city where i am.

…. Well you know how happy you will be when everything goes smooth like that and meet your love. But here comes the bombshell ! When she came, she was six months pregnant. I already told you i was in Ethiopia 16 months ago and it is clear that i am not the father. She was sad to see me and shivering. But she told me before i even ask that she made a mistake, it is from her Ex boyfriend .. and wanted to get an abortion but doctors told her that is dangerous because of her health situation. I was speechless and couldnt say anything at that moment. Me silent, She silently crying i took her home. She is still with me – 3 weeks now. All her immigration process is on my hand if i want to do something to hurt her. At the same time, i dont know what to do. She is saying that she will send the baby back home once it is delivered and she loves only me. People and family around me say a lot of different things, I am very confused – seriously ” (Mr. No name from Midwest USA).

57 COMMENTS

  1. My brother, this happens. You only came to know that she had something with someone else! Therefore, the big deal is not with her pregnancy; it is one event out of the many. Let me tell an experience of mine. I had a girl friend in Ethiopia few years ago. We loved each other so much with high emotions; however, none of us thought of getting married. But after some three years we got separated in piece. After that my ex-girl friend got another boy friend, but we continue to make safe sex only to prevent pregnancy, so many times and very frequently. we continued for 2 more years, in btw she got married to him but still that does not protect us from exercising our love. we stopped after she got pregnant from her husband. There were two reasons why we did this. 1) her husband usually travels for several months and weeks 2) I did not get a girl friend. So, your girl friend can have many things while you were away and that means she loves someone as a result, a blessed baby is coming. My advice to you is despite what people may say, help her in all means you can to stay in the US and help her to get married to the one she loves i.e. father of her baby. in short do the maximum that you can do to make her your best sister not a wife. Then the lord will give you the best ever wife as a result. Do not think of distorting her life, it is already distorted.

  2. Hey you have to send her back to ethipian. Trust me whatever she tells you she is lie to you . It happened the same thing on me . First of all when you were In Ethiopia she was still with her ex . Both , ur wife and her ex knew everything . They r trying to be smart. Be carefully don’t hesitate to send her back . You and this lier will be the same room for a maximum of 2 years , after that she start prossesing to bring back her baby and her real boyfriend . If even she has a kid from u , no one care about this u will pay her for child support . Send her back and tell her to live with the one she love

  3. my brother i want to advice u smtng. u knw doing good is good for the dooer and you have to believe that God do things as he wishs and ur todayz suffer n pain pay u back 2morrow and for sure you will get it. so my brother you have to decside not blindley by just thinking about only think about for both of u even if she did not do the right thing.

    good luck brother

  4. Hey u need to divorce her,I think she have conditional permanent resident card that means you guys must stay married at least 3 yr, do u want to sacrfice 3 more yr this bitch, is not about only stay marriage gather all evidence opening the same account ,have insurance together ,get credit card together ……more evidence …man don’t do it she is cring begging you and try to take your heart once she got a paper she will forget this

  5. Divorce her before she take your heart, don’t sacrifice 3 more yr I think she have conditional recident card don’t do it you will suffer immigration process ,is not about her paper finish with her

  6. trust me.send her in ethiopia.coz she don’t luv u, she only want to get green card coz of u.n u know what habesha think abt u.s.don’t be fool.

  7. Hi dear ……life is to short. ..so anything happens for the some of reason….and jus do good things for her to live her life that means if she say sorry take it because anyone he deserves second chance ….try ur beast …..god be with you

  8. Please listen to your inner voice and decide what to do. I see here you like her, and may be you love her (that is what you may feel). She is not part of your emotions or love journey. You are from USA – most young Ethiopian girls would like to grab the chance at a flash of moment – coming to America. So, what ever she does is not merely her fault-you are to blame also. you married her – she was joyous to come to America. She get pregnant because she is a woman or lets say she used contraceptive and had fun … she came to you not pregnant, – Does this mean she loves you? not necessary. As I said it is your fault 100% because love takes lots of commitments and emotionally fused togetherness. time tasted interaction. you had fun for few months with her, she might liked it or tolerated it – for the sec of coming to america.I wrote a book (fiction) Kenja Fiker – a true story. I try to define Love. So what I would suggest is – you and her are the ones to bear your decision. So think hard, think positive and think a bright future and decide what you do….. you are the only person who knows what she feels about you, at least… if you can protecting yourself, help her as a humanity cause… do not revenge her…she is not the only one to blame…

  9. Sorry to hear about your circumstances. I would like to discuss a few things with you surrounding this… and I have read all the comments quite well. My advice is quite different from all the comments you probably heard so far. If you are serious about this, please e-mail me via loveisgreate0@gmail.com and we will go from there.
    Thanks,

  10. my brother I think your case is persanal if you feel cant complete please dont injustice yourself , if you feel you can forgive her be sure the god will compenate you as soon as possible , also there is so humanuity state in your case see to baby he will be homeless by its mother mistake , please rethink and take you decission without any effects because your decission will range consequences take all aspects in your mind when your decission take place , any rate no one can blome you for any action because she started betray . I hope god help you .

  11. You said you were not together for 16 months; that’s a lot of time. She might have changed into a completely different person by now. But you have to understand that loneliness will bring the worst in people and try to see it from her point of view. If i were you, I would send her packing right now but I don’t know how much you love her/she loves you. You already know all what everybody is commenting here, but it is only you who knows her bro.

    take care

  12. Let me begin very unfortunately thing happen on you and I want to say sorry for her situation I mean she is lair first of all and it’s up to you wait and see what is gonna be happen but my advice to you don’t do anything to bad on her don’t think it not worth we are
    open world you have a lot chance don’t missed up
    your future.always advice family or friends thing you do far way from you.good luck

  13. Hello, I am really sorry about what happened to you. That is so sad. I live in the US and my husband use to live in Ethiopia I met him 4 years ago when i went there for a visit. I was suppose to be in Addis for a month and after I met him, I ended up staying there for two months I had a great time with him he proposed to me when I was about to come back to the US. He introduced me to his parents and everything. So I came back and stayed here and we used to talk every day and text via viber and email with facebook etc. I went back to see him after a year this time i stayed for a month we had a great time again. I didn’t start his process after he proposed to me because i wanted to know if he was the kind of guy that was real, and that really loved me that was going to wait for me. So after my second visit, I came back to the US and still didn’t start his process then we were still talking like crazy, viber, skype, facebook email, phone call etc. Last year I went again to see him I was only there for 3 weeks that time he sent shemagele to my parents and since my parents knew about him and they met him after he proposed they said ok for us to get married so we had a little wedding at that time and i came back to the US and i finally started his process. Ye Egziabhair neger hono everything tesaka in 7 months then he came here last christmas 2013 now we are so happy we are expecting our first baby. God is good. My point is Mr. X, I think you guys were too fast to get married and you started her process and you brought her fast. If she really loved you, she wouldnt even think about someone else let along getting pregnant by someone else. I am sorry to tell you this but she might be using you im soooo sorry for saying that. I do not want to judge her because enem set negne. She said she will send the baby to Ethiopia after its born well the baby is already a citizen once he/she is born here so after she send the baby she will probably wait until she is a citizen as well and bring the baby daddy as well and the baby can come easily since he/she is already a citizen. I think you should send her back or if you think you will be ok with everything you can be her brother and help her until she have her baby and start living her life. But i think your relationship with her as a husband and wife should stop because you might get hurt more than this in the future. I am really sorry about this whole situation that you are in. Egziabhair yerdah fetari kegoneh yehun on whatever you decide to do.

  14. I deeply feel for you. As long as I am concerned you fooled urself. I kind of have a mixed feeling. She is not trust worthy even for the future. She will ruin ur life if you continue with her. I feel like u have to send her back while u can ,or after she had the baby take the baby raise him with adobtion process , make a history let her go back and suffer if she can learn how dishonesty is hurtful. Again I am sorry about your situation.

  15. Man U should divorce her cuz she is a lier. U know what, why she didn’t tell u she was preagnat before she got her? Bra she and her x , they up to something ,so u better send her where she belong unless u gonna cry when she will have a nice family with her x after she bring his stupid ass here. ONE LOVE bra !!!

  16. ohhhh God how many life secrets hide in the world????????????? eeeeeeww u know what u didn’t tell us about her husband but both of u are not a good person at all how can u advice a person like that he is not like u and let me tell u one thing u never ever live a better life both of u go to hell God

  17. hi my brother your story is very heart touching. i would like to advise u she already did a mistake.she should tell u z truth before.but not. so now she is not your wife. she is your best sister not yr wife so please treate her and help her rather than harm. if she can she may conposate yr expense for her.life is a full of complexity.

  18. I am really sorry what happened to you , it is heart breaking and sad! the good thing you said we don’t have kids ,the only choice to be divorced like “????? ????” ??? ???? ????? ????? ?? ???? ????? ???? ???? ??? ????? ??? ???? ??? ??? ????? ? ?? ??? ?? ? ???? “???? “???? ???? ???? ??????? ???? ????? ? ???? ???? ????? ? ?????? ????? ??? ??? ? * ??? ???? ?? ???? ???? !? (?? ??? ? ????? ??? ??? ????? )?
    ?? ????? ????? ?? ??? ???? ? ??? ?? ??? ??? ???? ??? ?? ??? ????? ?????? ??????? ? ??? ???? ?? ? ??? ???? ?? ? ????? ??? ???? ?? ??? ??? ???? ???? ???? ??? ???? ?????? ? ????? ??? ???? ?? ????? ???? ? ???? ???? ???? ??? ??? ?? ??????? ????? ? ??? ?

  19. Hello! I am really sorry this is bad by my side my advice is you have to send her back don’t start any process, don’t say her anything silent is a better punishment and more important thing is the baby needs the right dad but u can help the baby and try to forget her and bad things. and u have to know something in this world two types of advice. GOOD and BAD this all comments are people advices and feelings but it helps you to open ur eyes and to think by so many directions but always u have to listen ur self coz u know her you can see her apologies is how it is true or not. God be wiz u if u can pls tell us ur decision i need to know GOOD LUCK

  20. I am Deeply sorry for your situation…..
    What I don’t Get is,How she could have think ,to see you and finally to come there … with out telling you???If she really was sorry for what happened , and if that was a mistake and really if that was from her ‘Ex??’………she would have told you that staff happened, in a relationship being pregnant is a serious Matter, and specially after you got married and you don’t know about her pregnancy there is nothing serious like that…….She would have ask you for your forgiveness…..before she gat there…….She might have Hundreds reason for this, But I don’t think we have this kind of courage for the one we Love,,,, for the one who you are thinking to spent the rest of your life…I don’t think…
    Wat I felt is no way to accept…..But seek the answers from your God, Pray very deeply try to see things in different directions …decision with emotions could destroy your Life, so take time before you do something and try to understand what is really and you are through ….at the end of the day that’s your life!! May God guide you to the truth..

  21. the only thing what i would like to recommended u is that, no one lives ur life!!!!!! just pray a lot & talk to ur God, listen to ur heart feeling then decide what u need. that is all.

  22. Sorry to hear about your circumstances, Please listen to your inner voice and decide what to do. Do it for your self not for her. Even if you keep her, she will leave you after she got her green card. True similar story. If she love you, She wouldnot do it. ANd she would tell you before she come to america. She is just telling you things so she can come to america. Please

  23. ??? ????? ????::
    ?? ??? ?????::??? ?? ????? ??? ??????? ??? ?????:: ???? ??? ???????? ??? ???? ???? ?? ????? ??? ???? ???? ????? ??:: ????? ??? ???? ?? ???? ??????? ??????? “still” ???(??? ????) ??? ??? ???? ?????::???????:: ???????? ??? ???? ????:??? ???? ??::?? ?? ?? ?????:: ??? ??? ????: ???? ?? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?????? ?????? ???? ??? ??? ?? ??:: ????? ???? ?? ??? ???!!! ??? ???? ???? ??? ??? ?? ???? ??? ???? ???? ??? ???? ??? ?? ???? ????? ???????:: ?? ????? ???? ???? ??? ????? ????? ???? ??????? ???????? ??? ????:: ???? ??????????? ?? ???? ??????::?? ??? ???? ??? ?????::???? ????? ??? ??::?? ???? ????? ??? ????? ????? ??? ??? ??? ???? ?? ?? ??? ?”Abeba”? ??? ????? ????:: ???? ????? ??????::

  24. I’m so sorry to hear this kind of situations but u made the biggest mistake anyway it is what it is but what am try to say is Eski put urself in her or her baby Dadi position what would u do I think u do the same thing they do so teshwedegal but if I was u I wouldn’t ask this question and yesew mesakeya alhonem so sera yawta

  25. Please, please help this lady. Trust me you loose nothing. You gain some thing, by doing work of God! I pray that God will give you grace. To provide you to do the right thing! I understand how it’s heart, but by doing right you will be satisfied! GBU both!

  26. Dud don’t be stupid !!,
    Help her in any way you can, but she kept this secret for this long, and unfaithful, wait when her X comes to US. She doesn’t love you, isn’t that clear to you????
    If you mean so much to her, accidents can happen, could be forced or raped, but, by telling ahead of time she could have confirmed her commitment and love to you. Get it!!

    Boy! you got the raw deal, Get the hell out of this relation, the sooner the better. you have been played.

  27. jila’jil malet endante new

    HOW CAN YOU MARRY SOMEONE WITH JUST THREE MONTHS OF RELATIONSHIP???

    PERFECT SOLUTION

    SEND HER BACK TO ETHIOPIA – give her $2,000 to adjust back to her life in Addis. It will pay for a decent wedding with her ex. Let her raise her son with the father.

    If you let her stay, the child will be legally yours. She will divorce you in 2 years, bring the real dad, and you will still be paying her child support to raise their child. If you have kids from her, you will also be paying but they will be living with the new guy.

    WAKE UP!!!

  28. What’s wrong here? every one is full on. Why you hate this girl so much? Is it possible she makes a mistake . maybe she love you that why she say she do. Think about it bro what’s special about make you different than her ex. Peper? It’s not even your to give or take she also have the same chance as you had to get the peper. Forget about pp say and try to win her heart she may give you a pleasant for you lonely miserable life. It seems to me you go all the way to Ethiopia b/c you don’t have a choice.

  29. Hi, please in this world no body perfect, then if you accept her, all mighty God
    will help you. Don’t forget! she can learn from her mistake.

  30. good to here u say everything was ok for u at last n u r waiting for a baby, but i was wondering when u were in a relation with ur boyfriend, i mean before u guys got married n u were in the us, weren ‘t u seeing someone, i mean it could be someone just for atleast a day, i can understand there could be a lot of reasons to cheat, so how was it like for u?

  31. Don’t ever try to help her she is not a good person. If you will continue live together your life will be scludeup.you make sure it doesn’t exist.

  32. this is a situation that is very hard to deal with. i feel like u r a very good person.you even to take her home with you and taking care of her since then. i would say, if she was honest, she would’ve tell you everything before she came. However, she didnt. that messes up her trust worthiness so bad. may be she was afraid to tell you. BUT.. this kind of thing has to be talked before she came. so i would suggest you that dont hurt her, be as good as you can be. u can be her friend but not her husband. caz there is no baseline for this marriage. she shatters it. trust is a baseline for marriage, honesty is a fundamental thing for marriage. if you dont have those thing at the beginning of your marriage, there is a high possibility it is not gonna work. and i think, she is defiantly have plan B what is gonna happen when she gets here. i feel like she is using you on the process of bringing her ex boyfriend here and start a family.

  33. ” HASTEY IS WASTEY.”

    * MARRIAGE IS NOTa game of A WEEK or months.

    * what makes u so vast decision to get married

    * you should have to know her life background

    * you jumped from air plane without parashoot ..

    * you must do whatbur heart & spirit tell u not other cant be liable for ur marriage but you …

    * this is a critical experience so that dont trust anybody so quickly as the way u trustbyourself….

    * I feel so for you got a quagmire and dillema ….

    No woman= no worry, no xry, no pronlem…

    Pray to GOD b4 joining to a lady’s life …

    God help you …..!!

  34. Sorry bro. You’ve got a huge decision to make. The love of your life betrayed you in Africa.
    Now she is with you and not sure how to resolve the betrays. This is very tough dilemma
    Even here in the USA which we see on numerous talk shows. I feel, you are about to hurt by her all over again, once she get her US- naturalization
    Papers in orders, you will be paying for attorney
    Fees, perhaps spousal mentainaces & child(re) supports. This is while she may be processing to import her True Love- a father of her fist baby?
    Help the lady to get her residency here if you can
    Don’t get entangled in lovey wifey thing. Do not rush
    To devorce but let her know you no longer devote yourself to her. Give her a chances to look for her cousins, friends, or other xboys she may have and slowly separate gracefully & file for devotes from her.
    Block your emotion from her & never hurt her in any way shape. Be a man with self pride and move on?
    Goodluck to you.

  35. I prefer to write in amharic .In the mean time,I don’t want to interfere with the internal affairs of any individuals but I knew a a lot of bad story the same exact like your story or some times, it is very similar to you ,but ,all of the story i knew was not effective in the long run.If you listen me I like to tell you the cause and course and consequences of that story I hope you will reach a wonderful decision and this will help you to lead your life in the right way.I don’t know your age but ,I guess you are too young and you have the bright future ahead of you so,don’t destroy your future
    ?????? ?????? ??? ?? ????? ??? ?? ?? ?????? ????? ??? ?? ???? ?????? ??? ?? ???? ???? ???? ?????? ??? ??? ?? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ???? ???? ???? ??? ?? ???? ???? ?? ??? ??? ???? ?? ??? ???? ??? ???? ????? ???? ?????? ????? ????? ????? ??? ????????????? ?????? ??? ??? ????? ????? ?? ??? ????? ????? ?????
    ??? ??? ????? ?? ??? ???? ?? ?????? ??? ???? ??? ????? ????? ???? ?????? ??? ??? ???? ???? ???? ???? ?? ??? ????? ??? ??? ???? ??? ?????? ?? ???? ??? ?? ???? ???? ??? ??? ??? ???????? ???? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??? ??? ?????? ??? ?? ???? ?? ????? ???? ???? ??? ???? ??? ???? ??? ????? ??? ??? ?? ????? ?? ????? ???? ??? ???? ?? ?????????? ?? ???? ???? ?????? ??? ????? ?????? ??? ???? ???? ?? ????? ??? ??? ?? ?????? ????? ?????? ?? ??? ??? ?? ? ???? ??? ??? ????? ?? ?? ????? ???? ????? ?????? ????? ??? ???? ????? ???? ????? ??? ??? ?? ? ?? ?? ??? ??? ???? ????? ???? ???? ??????? ?? ??? ??? ?? ???? ???? ?????? ?????? ???? ???? ???? ?? ????? ??????? ??? ?????? ???? ???? ??? ????? ????? ?? ??? ?? ????? ???? ????? ????? ????? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ??? ?? ??? ?????

  36. Ow wow it is very hard for you. You must have a good heart either send her home or separate with her you know what is best for you good luck.

  37. well,bro,we all know how painful it is .you have paid lots of sacrifice.you have kept your words to her,but she did this in return.It is a heartbreaking act indeed.But Remember nobody is perfect even you ,yourself.Once in your life ,you might have done a stupid thing in the other way round.So bro never change your mind,continue doing good to her for true love is not conditional…surely,it is a challenge from God for you.Let her be free,never raise this issue again before her.Do whatever good is to her without expecting anything in return.At least ,she is Ehiopian…your fellow -citizen…

  38. Deliberate or forced she has is pregnant. If you guys love each other, accepting her pregnancy and giving her smooth landing in USA can only strength your mutual love.

    Please maintain your relation and allow the baby to come.

    After all you are getting an Ethiopian together.

  39. Dear mr. x she now everthing you start the process that time why she told you the truth? and after you she is wih x friend forgot her after she delivers sending to her living countries this is not your problem . this time life is bad. I now I am a women but she was pregnant befor you no problems but afteryou ahhhhhhh bad leadies

  40. She was never true then she will never be true forever. Babis are clean by nature. But One thing ve to know is the 90% Ethiopian girls are not worthy of companionship.they are whores.yes they are, no social or marital values in them.Bro move on and get sombody eals.you will get hurt for life, she will laugh at you with her friends later….other whores.most of them are closest prostitutes.

  41. Well, a child is a very clean by creation they need love and nurturing since it comes out of her womb, she need to love him.so she sending the baby back ? So how is she gonna love you, she don’t even love her own baby ! I seen this many time that Ethiopian girls are not commited to there relationships. I live with an Ethiopian gentlemen for morethan a 10 years. we Asian respects and serve our husband with 100% loyality.don’t make mistake again and live sad life…

  42. my dear, you dealt a business with a female Satan (if any ). leave everything & score on your seconds ahead.

  43. keep her upto she berth b/cs we lived in back ward country so she make amistake if she get berth may get chance her babies the citzen shep of the country after she birth may things can change any how dont miss her up toshe birth .

  44. Post here back to her own country.

    The biggest mistake what you make is that you didnt now here good and her background good. Falling in love is like a poisen some Ethiopean women used this cheap words to get you in their tricky.

    Black Ethiopean men are peace of shit too. Because the blacking their own ethiopean women and left them than the wants guys from other country they victimize these men. I now one she didnt had a child I was trying to now her better after all she act a lot of nice try to get me in. After all she told me she wants blackguys and white men. I blocked her and deleted her. Before she told me she was with a blackguy the blackguy left her and he was with a other women.

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